Police: Story About Wyoming Man Smuggling Eyeballs is Fake
"You can't believe everything you read on the web."
The story is 100% fake! I repeat, this story, which originated on a fake news/satire website, is absolutely false.
I'm not for sure who said it first, but the saying definitely holds true more often than any of us would like to admit. Case in point: If you've been on Facebook today, there's a very good chance that you've seen an "article" about "Wyoming man found with 30 cow eyeballs in his anal cavity."
The story is 100% fake! I repeat, this story, which originated on a fake news/satire website, is absolutely false. It's a hoax. How do I know? Well, we just so happen to have a news department, and that same news department picked up the phone and called the police, who confirmed that the entire thing is nothing but a ruse.
Regardless, it has been shared quite a few times on social media already. The accused man was said to have stolen the cow eyeballs from a non-existent meat plant, supposedly located right here in our wonderful state. The "article" stated the man had stolen the eyeballs and smuggled them in his rectum because he like to cook them in soup.
Let's break down the obvious. First off, cow eyeballs are not nearly as small as their human counterparts. Secondly, digesting 30 seems nearly impossible for an averaged sized male. Furthermore, if this were even possible, more than likely, the acids in the stomach would break them down to a point where you wouldn't be able to re-obtain them from the anus upon exit.
Now, I'm as big a fan of The Onion and other similar sites as the next guy. The difference here is that the website where this story originated makes little, if any indication that their "news" is 100% fake. With that in mind, I will not be sharing a link to the original story here. If you absolutely, positively MUST read the original, I think it's safe to assume that you know how to use Google. With that in mind, be very wary of sharing or clicking on fake stories. These types of websites often make money off how many times people click on their page. Let's not help perpetuate this awful story any further, which undoubtedly has already defiled our great state.